On New Years Eve 2019 me and my husband sat in the Urology Clinic surrounded by what I can only say were people in their 70’s. The Doctor gave us the news we had been dreading. My husband had testicular Cancer.
A few months before this he noticed that his right testicle was much bigger than his other one. This is normal to have one bigger than the other but this was by quite a significant amount. He made a Doctors appointment and the Doctor agreed this didn’t look normal and booked him in for a scan.
Matt wouldn’t let me go in the room at the scan in November, I sat outside. He could see clearly from the scan that there was a lump. We had a beer afterwards and I was adamant it would be fine it would just be a cyst or something.
The next day the doctor called with the news that there were 2 tumours and they would need to be removed very quickly.
This brought us back to New Years Eve where it was then confirmed that it was the horrible C word. We had a beer after this too!
His operation was booked and on 20th January 2020 he had his right testicle removed.
Boom done! No more Cancer. Have some time off work and recover then we can move on.
3 weeks later we get a call asking him to go to Guys Hospital the next day for an urgent referral.
He spoke to his specialist nurse, Jane who said it was just normal procedure.
The specialist Doctor at Guys Hospital was with Matt for an hour who confirmed that the Cancer he had was “aggressive” and after looking at his scans, his lymph nodes were inflamed and he would need to have chemo. He took blood and further tests etc.
The following day, the blood results came back to show that the marker he had before the operation had gone but another marker was showing which means the cancer has spread but they now need to know where which may even mean another operation and then chemo.
This week he has more tests which means more waiting and more results.
So I know lots of people go through Cancer. I know it effects 1 in 2 people. But why us? Why now? My husband is 37, I’m 31, we have a 5 year old and a 2 year old. I’m watching friends get married and settling down, posting their perfect pictures and perfect lives all over Facebook and it feels like my family is being dragged apart by this cruel disease.
How do I help? How do we explain to our 5 year old? How do we tell people?
Some people have said, “don’t worry Cancer isn’t as scary as it used to be” and “just stay positive.” But honestly to us right now it’s fucking scary and I’m positive around my kids but then I’m a huge negative ball of shit!
Matt is the main breadwinner of the house. I’ve always been the part timer who’s self employer and looks after the children.
Matt will get 3 months full pay and 3 months half pay followed by statutory.
It really really sucks that along with this shitty disease we have this added stress of what do we actually do when we can’t afford our rent anymore? When we can’t afford food? I want to try and keep normality for the girls. The main priority is to get daddy better and support him. But it’s all such a mind fuck!
We are thankful to friends and family, the ones who have reached out, offered to babysit, picked up the phone.
We are going to continue to talk about our journey. Firstly because it kind of helps. Secondly, it might just help someone else.