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Miscarriage with Hope

Back in November we found out we were expecting our 2nd child! We were over the moon! At first I had no symptoms at all which worried me slightly after having morning sickness, headaches and heartburn with baby number 1. We decided to book an early scan at 7 weeks.

When I looked at the screen I could see straight away it was twins and the midwife looked at me whilst me and my husband took it in! She said “at least it’s not 3” to which she moved slightly and found another! Triplets! I actually cried with the shock and my husband nearly fell off his chair! How the hell would I cope with 3 babies and a 2 year old. Of course she asked if this was natural or IVF, a question I would soon become bored of. Does it run in the family? Was I taking medication? No this was a complete miracle. We had 2 identical and one on its own. The twins were smaller than the other and one of the twins again smaller than the other one.

We told a few people but didn’t want to broadcast. Some people were over joyed for us, others would say we would probably lose one which i think was a very nasty thing to say, you wouldn’t say it to a women expecting 1 baby so why just because there’s 3? Yes it was early but why put a downer on such great news? I wanted to prove I could do this!

I went to the midwife thinking they may offer me an early scan but they didn’t so I booked another private one so I could see just before Christmas.

My husband was unable to come with me so my sister came. Now 10 weeks pregnant, It was the same lady who had done the first scan. She pulled the screen up and I immediately saw the look on her face. We had lost 2. The twins. They had just disappeared and left 2 empty sacks. How had this happened? I’d had no bleeding, no cramping, nothing. I just didn’t understand. We had heard 3 heartbeats previously. It took a while to sink in while she distracted me with our healthy baby that had grown perfectly and had a strong heartbeat. Once she had finished then the tears came. Those people were right but we hadn’t just lost one we’d lost two. I called my husband who was at work and he was devastated. We had only just got over the shock of 3 and thinking about moving house, a new car, buggies etc. Now we had to get over a new shock.

Now all I was left with was worry. Worry about baby number 3. If I could lose 2 surely I could lose this one too.

Today we had our NHS scan at Kings College in London where they were superb! We have a healthy singleton pregnancy with a strong heartbeat and was moving around just like our first did at her scan. No one can say why we had lost the other 2 but perhaps it was so our other one could live. Now I would love to know the sex, any thoughts let me know x


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